When I am manic:

The best feeling in the world is driving with the windows down, sunroof open, on a clear warm night.  Passing every car on the road.  Singing along with my new song obsession; playing it on repeat with the volume up so loud that I can feel the vibrations of the music through my body.

The wind makes my skin tingle as if every nerve is exposed to the air that is crashing into it.  I can see the patterns of the wind bend around my hand as it moves like a wave through the air going ninety-eight miles an hour.  Street lights blur together guiding me through the city and out onto the open endless road ahead of me.

Tonight the man in the moon, my partner in crime, smiles with me. Only he knows how alive I feel in these moments.  Wanting nothing more right then, then to live forever.  The world couldn’t be more right.

On meds it would feel like this:

Went for a drive tonight.  Rolled the windows down.  Could feel the wind. Listened to some music.  It was nice.

 

Which would you rather experience?

 

 

5 thoughts on “mania v.s. meds

  1. Beautifully written. Having been through both versions I must say I prefer the meds. The mania was too much; although exquisite, I wasn’t as present in some significant ways.

  2. Oh… I can relate. Mania is a drug we were “gifted” with, so to speak. A chemical imbalance in our brain that turns up the volume. I crave my mania too sometimes. But it can unravel so quickly..

    Beautifully written. Thanks for sharing.

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