This is getting obscene. I have at this very moment 9 blog post drafts sitting here saved in one form of completion or another. They all are sitting here for a variety of reasons from… got bored of writing it, lost the mood, lost my direction, to not sure if i want to post them, or written so long ago they feel irrelevant, to didn’t have time to finish and now I have moved on.
I don’t know… I’m thinking I may have a problem with finishing a project (haha) you think? Actually this isn’t a new revelation about myself. Ask me how many unfinished paintings I have going on right now… 3- no wait there is 4. Which is normal for me. Some just started and others almost finished. But I wonder if that is normal for other artists? I don’t know what it is about me, but I have been this way my entire life. Definitely not one of my finest qualities, I do realize I have this problem and I work on it…. but there are worse vices to have I suppose.
Ok, that was a random opener to this post… but I just noticed it and had to share….
I have been in kind of a funk the last few days/week or so… because of some side effects of a new med I have started taking. As I so eloquently told a very patient and kind soul the other day… “I am so tired of feeling tired!” But you know what- they didn’t tell me to stop complaining, or to just get over it, nor did they start to ignore me because I wasn’t having a good day. No, I am pretty sure I spent most of that day describing how dizzy I felt and how bad of a headache I had, and how I felt just as tired when I woke up as when I fell asleep. And you know what? They listened to it all… and they were encouraging and patient with me. They didn’t ignore me, they asked me how I was feeling throughout the day (even though they had things they were going through that day) and best thing was… they knew how it felt. Not that I am happy by any means that they experience the same things as I do, but it means that they didn’t just have sympathy for me.. they get it. They understood how I was feeling because I know they have felt the exact same way.
And you know, having that in your life makes going through these things a little easier. In the past I always felt like people either pitied me (which I hated), resented me, didn’t understand what I was feeling, or didn’t care. But now that I have someone in my life that gets my crazy, the stress and guilt that I use to feel because I would get sick sometimes is gone. I feel like it is ok to not be ok. And even when I am not ok, they are still going to like me. They aren’t going to turn around, shut the door and walk away… metaphorically speaking. And literally I suppose. I don’t have to pretend to be “normal”. I can just be my grumpy crazy self some days. I am most definitely one of the lucky one’s, to have such a wonderful person. I can’t even explain how good it feels to have someone in my life who I can be the real me with.
p.s. did you know penguins mate for life?! I did not know this until quite recently. The male penguin will find a stone and present it to his chosen love. Pretty amazing.
… and yes, i think i just may start my own advice column
… no really, I’m serious :p