you’re weird… i like you

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This is getting obscene. I have at this very moment 9 blog post drafts sitting here saved in one form of completion or another. They all are sitting here for a variety of reasons from… got bored of writing it, lost the mood, lost my direction, to not sure if i want to post them, or written so long ago they feel irrelevant, to didn’t have time to finish and now I have moved on.

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I don’t know… I’m thinking I may have a problem with finishing a project (haha) you think? Actually this isn’t a new revelation about myself. Ask me how many unfinished paintings I have going on right now… 3- no wait there is 4. Which is normal for me. Some just started and others almost finished. But I wonder if that is normal for other artists? I don’t know what it is about me, but I have been this way my entire life. Definitely not one of my finest qualities, I do realize I have this problem and I work on it….  but there are worse vices to have I suppose.

Ok, that was a random opener to this post… but I just noticed it and had to share….

I have been in kind of a funk the last few days/week or so… because of some side effects of a new med I have started taking. As I so eloquently told a very patient and kind soul the other day… “I am so tired of feeling tired!” But you know what- they didn’t tell me to stop complaining, or to just get over it, nor did they start to ignore me because I wasn’t having a good day. No, I am pretty sure I spent most of that day describing how dizzy I felt and how bad of a headache I had, and how I felt just as tired when I woke up as when I fell asleep. And you know what? They listened to it all… and they were encouraging and patient with me. They didn’t ignore me, they asked me how I was feeling throughout the day (even though they had things they were going through that day) and best thing was… they knew how it felt. Not that I am happy by any means that they experience the same things as I do, but it means that they didn’t just have sympathy for me.. they get it. They understood how I was feeling because I know they have felt the exact same way.

And you know, having that in your life makes going through these things a little easier. In the past I always felt like people either pitied me (which I hated), resented me, didn’t understand what I was feeling, or didn’t care. But now that I have someone in my life that gets my crazy, the stress and guilt that I use to feel because I would get sick sometimes is gone. I feel like it is ok to not be ok. And even when I am not ok, they are still going to like me. They aren’t going to turn around, shut the door and walk away… metaphorically speaking. And literally I suppose. I don’t have to pretend to be “normal”. I can just be my grumpy crazy self some days. I am most definitely one of the lucky one’s, to have such a wonderful person. I can’t even explain how good it feels to have someone in my life who I can be the real me with.

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p.s. did you know penguins mate for life?! I did not know this until quite recently. The male penguin will find a stone and present it to his chosen love. Pretty amazing.

 

… and yes, i think i just may start my own advice column
(hahaha)
… no really, I’m serious :p

 

 

6 thoughts on “you’re weird… i like you

  1. Ah the graveyard of un-finished projects. I visit it sometimes on memorial day. My half written book and abandoned sewing projects get together sometimes and hump, I’m sure of it.

  2. It is allowing yourself to be free lizzy, no longer feeling expectations from others (which in turn is letting go expectations from yourself), and accepting that beautiful heart within…exactly as she is. That dear lady, is loving yourself, and the meaning of life. it is the biggest, and most beautiful step you can take on this journey. Welcome home 😀 <3

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