no crazy here

October the season that awakens my soul... It is my favorite time of year. I look forward to it for ten long months. When summer says goodbye and the air turns crisp and cool. Where I live we have 4 months of cold snowy winter, 2 months of a wet warm/cold spring. 4 months of a hot summer... then 2 months … Continue reading no crazy here

the best medicine

Laughter. There is something about it that can make the dark that engulfs me at times disappear. I don't know how it happens. Over a century ago, William James—an American physician, philosopher, and educator, who many consider the father of modern psychology—wisely said, "We don’t laugh because we’re happy. We’re happy because we laugh.” There … Continue reading the best medicine

center stage

Can I be honest? Every once in a while, especially after a session with Dr. C.  I can't stop thinking about myself... lol.. ok, that sounds odd. But I mean it in the context of who I am and how much about myself that people around me seem to want me to change. I completely agree that because … Continue reading center stage

h.o.p.e

This last time I was struggling through a depression cycle of my bipolar, I had these made for me.  I needed a way to remind my self constantly of hope. Hope is the strongest thing to have when you are in the throws of depression. Yet it is the hardest thing to keep. At least for me … Continue reading h.o.p.e

gone and back

so i was gone for a few days.  but i decided i wanted to come back. i really like it here.  i think i need this place...talking to myself and whoever else decides to listen.  i can't promise that you will like everything i have to say. that is not what this place is for. … Continue reading gone and back

the cheesy cliche

I hate my insecurities, and the fact that my 'foundation of self' crumbles with the slightest touch.  It makes existing in this world like living in a constant whirlwind. Always having to check myself and my feelings, thoughts, emotions to see if they are "normal". Am I too detached, too numb, too happy, too impulsive, too sensitive. The … Continue reading the cheesy cliche

normal

I conceded for Dr. M yesterday and took zyprexa last night to help me come down out of the manic episode I have been in the past couple weeks. And I hate it.  I feel flat, emotionless. The world seems grey and dull.  It feels like I went from high to low.  Skipped 'normal' completely. … Continue reading normal